Shame: Lies You Think are Truth

Understanding Shame and Why You Feel It

Shame is a complex feeling to articulate. You can experience it as a feeling of not being good enough, a worry that there is something wrong with you, or an overwhelming feeling that you are inadequate, inferior, or unclean.

Shame is not the same as guilt. Guilt is a healthy emotion. You feel guilty if you do or say something that fails to live up to your moral code or when you do not obey God. For instance, when you speed to work, you might feel guilt. Guilt is helpful. It often comes from the Holy Spirit. It motivates us to repent and modify sinful behaviors.

What Causes Shame?

Shame is the result of lies you believe are true about yourself. Some women experience shame because of a difficult childhood filled with abuse or neglect. Others feel shame because an abusive boyfriend or husband blames her when something goes wrong. Still, other women contend with shame as a result of consuming alcohol or drugs.

What Should You Do about Shame?

When you feel shame, it may be tempting to numb those feelings by turning to other things. You might use alcohol abuse, emotional eating, pornography, or retail therapy to mask your emotions. But, after a few minutes or hours, when the short-lived distraction is over, then you suffer from rebound shame.

For some women, shame persuades them to humiliate others as a type of revenge. For instance, returning home to yell at your now elderly father for his abuse or taking out your anger on your husband. But these behaviors will not end the shame.

What Does Jesus Know about Shame?

The Tempter aims to convince you that you are alone in your shame. He wants you to feel as if you are the only one ever to experience it, and he likes that feeling of shame to keep you isolated so you do not turn to your loving Savior.

But you are not alone in shame. As part of His death on the Cross, Jesus experienced every human emotion, including shame and humiliation. Consider these two examples from Scripture…

“⁶³ And the men that held Jesus mocked him, and smote him. ⁶⁴ And when they had blindfolded him, they struck him on the face, and asked him, saying, Prophesy, who is it that smote thee? ⁶⁵ And many other things blasphemously spake they against him.” -  Luke 22:63-65 KJV

 “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” - Hebrews 12:2

God Longs to Heal You from Shame

If you want to live free, you will need to unpack your shame, examine it and discover its source. As you realize where your shame is coming from, you can continue to seek God’s healing. God longs to release you from shame and other negative emotions so you can experience His deep love and abiding peace.