Affirmation: I Overcome my Divorce with Grace

Today's affirmation is a little bit different. I have a request from one of my wonderful Women of Worth. She is struggling with her divorce. I hope this will help her to think about grace and living her life to the fullest.

Divorce is an accepted fact of life in modern culture. But for many Christian women in broken marriages, it presents a moral dilemma. Does she stay in an unhealthy, perhaps even harmful marriage for the sake of her vow and covenant? Or does she act against her beliefs and seek a divorce?

Jesus illustrated the relationship between husband and wife this way in Matthew 19:6 KJV: Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

However, there are Biblical reasons for divorce.

Matthew 19:8,9

8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Jesus stated that divorce is permissible for sexual immorality on the part of one’s spouse.

1 Corinthians 7:15

But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

Paul added a second exception for divorce, in instances where an unbelieving spouse abandons the marriage.

Exodus 21:10-11

10 If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.

11 And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.

If the husband was unwilling to treat her as a wife (food, clothing, love), he had to let her go.

And those who have abandoned their obligations to their wife are also thought to deny their faith and are even worse than unbelievers. 

When a Christian woman is struggling with a marriage that may be irreparable, at times the best we can do is ask for God’s guidance through Scripture, talk with a trusted friend with knowledge of the situation, and pray together for the Holy Spirit’s guidance. You should also seek out counsel from your own pastor and, ideally, a licensed Christian counselor. 

God realizes divorce happens because as humans we can have hard hearts.

When your heart is hard, talk with God and ask Him to help you find healing. God has written a better plan for you than for you to go through life hardheartedly.

When your heart is broken, talk with God about healing now. Your divorce may stem from a spouse who has a hard heart in which case you probably have a broken heart yourself. God is reaching out to you and has a plan for you for a future and hope. 

Our God is a God of redemption and grace. He knows your heart.

Affirmation: I Overcome my Divorce with Grace

I am fortunate. While divorces are generally ugly, I have been blessed with an experience that has gone much smoother than anticipated. This is largely due to my graceful attitude and mutual respect upon departing.

Now that my divorce is finalized, I can live according to my standards; I live to please myself.

After a long day at work, I return home to a quiet and peaceful environment. Positive energy and sereneness welcome me as I walk through the door.

I can do as I please and speak my mind without the need to walk on eggshells. I am now the only one I must answer to in my home. This means I can be as quiet, as loud, as clean, or as messy as I please within my own home, without fear of judgment.

I am in love with the liberation my divorce has thrust upon me. Living a single life is surprisingly far more fulfilling than I anticipated.

I have time to focus on myself and dedicate time to my hobbies. And, I can regularly have lunch and dinner with friends that were once only an afterthought.

Of course, I do miss the good times of our marriage. Nonetheless, idealizing our marriage means denying myself the pleasure of living in the moment. I effectively deal with the emotional aspect of my divorce and take each day as it comes.

Now, I am on nice terms with my ex-husband, and we may even become friends sometime in the future. However, keeping our distance is best for the time being.

Today, I take the time to pat myself on the back. Divorce is never easy. However, my positive mindset makes each day less of a hurdle.

Self-Reflection Questions:                                                 

1. Do I blame myself for our divorce?
2. Am I taking the time to perform soul-searching?
3. How can I learn to forgive my ex-spouse for the hardships they caused?

Some women undoubtedly worry a divorce will cause judgment or even shame from others in their religious community. Here is a concept for you to consider. Jesus’ lineage is chronicled in Matthew 1.

It records:

• The prostitute Rahab. She eventually married Salmon.
• The adulterous couple of David and Bathsheba. They married after David had her husband murdered.
• The widow who married Boaz, her kinsman-redeemer.

It is noteworthy that there are three women who were remarried in the direct lineage of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Can we say grace?

The complexities of divorce and remarriage touch so many lives today. Whether we were wounded by a trusted husband or our own sins, God’s grace takes us on a transformational track toward healing, forgiveness, and freedom. His love is immeasurable. He can heal broken hearts after divorce and He can bless you abundantly despite your circumstances. Together we all hold on to His promise that our sins are forgiven (1 John 1:9).