God's "No" is Actually to Prepare, Not Punish

In the past, I have been deeply troubled by the fact that I have prayed to the Lord for things that I feel align with His will as stated in the Scriptures, yet He has not seen fit to grant my requests, at least not in the way I had hoped for.

This is not a mere theoretical problem of unanswered prayer but a deeply personal and, at times, gut-wrenching struggle that I know many women share. You are not alone in this. But I fully understand that God's "No" is actually to prepare, not punish.

Here is what Jesus says in Matthew 7:7-11: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”

He uses this analogy to engage us in considering how we treat our children and how God treats his children. What is remarkable here is that God pledges to give good things to his children when they ask. It is striking because it does not say he gives them precisely what they ask.

This analogy of God's parenting is a powerful reminder of the depth of his love and care for us.

We know this to be true, as He is comparing Himself to our own parenting. Just as we do not grant our children everything they ask for, especially when they’re two or three years old, God, in His infinite wisdom, may not always give us what we ask for. This analogy of God's parenting is a powerful reminder of the depth of His love and care for us.

This is a hard truth to accept, especially when, as adults, we pray for what seems to align with His will. You are not approaching the request as if God were a vending machine. You understand that He has the freedom to refuse.

But you are praying for His will to be what you know based on Scripture. Perhaps you are asking God to restore your marriage or to deliver your husband from alcoholism. Maybe you are begging Him to heal your child from a chronic disease.

God can consistently deny your request over several years or even decades. Sometimes, God denies us what we truly want for many reasons. Consider the prayers of David, who pleaded for his son's life (2 Samuel 12:16-23), or the Apostle Paul, who asked three times to remove a thorn in his flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7-9).

Sometimes, it is to grow your faith as He did with Joseph. After a decade of hardship, Joseph confidently proclaimed, “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” (Genesis 50:20)

At times, God may have already granted your request, but the issue could be the timing. Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, strongly desired to have a child. But it was not until she was late in life that she was granted this. Similarly, Abraham and Sarah prayed for a child, and God answered their prayer when they were well beyond childbearing age. This is a testament to the importance of divine timing in God's plan.

The reason had nothing to do with Elizabeth and everything to do with the timing of her request. God's time is not our time. He planned to use John the Baptist before the Messiah. Elizabeth's prayer was answered at the perfect moment in His plan.

Luke 1:17 - "And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord."

However, God chooses to answer your prayer, please remember that you can always find reassurance in one thing. God will always do what is best because He loves and cares for you. His love and care are constant and trustworthy, as in Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Romans 5:2-5 - "By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

God is preparing us to be the bride of His Son. We must become a bride worthy of our position to reign with Him. Through prayer, we trust in Him, and through this trust, He develops in us perseverance, character, and hope. Prayer is His means of preparing us for bridehood.