How To Learn When You Fail And Boost Self-Esteem

One definition of failure is a lack of success in accomplishing something or coming short of a performance standard we or others have set. Disappointment is the sense of unhappiness and frustration resulting from the failure. These feelings can stem from our failures, the failures of others, or both. What does the Bible teach us about failure and disappointment? How should women respond to disappointments?

Scripture's consistent message is that failure and disappointment are inescapable parts of the human experience. Biblical examples of failure expose the painful disappointment that follows in its course: disappointment with self, others, and even God. One of the challenges with the constant victory narratives we are fed today is the message that triumph is for everyone and that everyone will be a winner. The result is that no one is prepared when victory is slow to visit and when failure knocks at their door, sometimes repeatedly.

Wisdom from disappointments can boost your self-esteem because you realize that you can rebound from tough challenges. You also learn valuable skills that can aid you in overcoming future tough challenges more easily. Virtually every woman faces difficulties in life. No one has it easy all the time, which means there will be things in your life that will not go as planned. At times, it will seem that the whole world is against you and nothing goes in your favor. Understanding that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted brings peace into times of pain and suffering.

God is working on a great plan for you, no matter what is or is not happening in your life, business, or ministry. 

^"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." - Jeremiah 29:11 KJV

Claim this Scripture verse when you get disappointed and look for God's plans for your condition and life.

Many times it seems as though nothing turns out as you have planned. These situations are bound to bring down your self-esteem. And they make you question whether you can do high-quality work, achieve your goals, etc. At times like these, you need to reflect upon past failures to recognize that you have endured challenging periods. You have the God-given talent, capability, and skill set required to go through them again and become stronger. God calls for humility, knowing we can take our anxious thoughts to Him and trust His perfect timing.

God has begun a work in each of us. He is always faithful to work through us as long as we are willing to see it to fulfillment. Those seasons of failure and disappointment can be some of our life's most spiritually productive times.

• ^"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:" - Philippians 1:6 KJV
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He is working in your life and the lives of all you care about at all times. God has started His good work and will not abandon you when the wind shifts or disappointment comes crashing down.  

The other key element you must realize when reflecting on your past failures is learning from them so that you do not make the same or similar mistakes in the future. If you make a mistake, it is not the end of the world. You can learn what you did wrong or not as well as you could, then learn how to improve the situation if the same or similar problem arises again. Learning from your past mistakes can show weaknesses in your skill set that you can strengthen over time through learning from the experience and gaining insight into what you can do better. By understanding what you can do better, you can feel more confident handling the same or similar situations in the future, which can boost your self-esteem.

Women live in this success culture that idolizes victory and satisfaction. But it is all so unnatural. While it may not seem like it, disappointment is temporal, and God will restore us in His timing. 

• ^"Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit." - Jeremiah 17:7-8 KJV

Trusting in the Lord helps your roots go deep, and God strengthens your abilities to withstand trials and disappointments. We are all reinforced by the promise of a glorious future and the sovereignty of our awesome God.

When women turn to the Bible, we see a profound dose of reality. Failures and disappointments appear on almost every page. Like it or not, that is much truer to life than the perfect social media stories that we aspire to and try to create for ourselves. By all means, aim high, but acknowledge that no one eludes failure and disappointment. So, according to God's plan and His timing, women might as well plan on it and prepare for it to profit from it.

Key Takeaway: You should not consider making a mistake the end of the world and should not allow it to bring down your self-esteem. Everyone makes mistakes. The key is learning from mistakes, so you do not make the same or similar ones in the future. You also improve your skill set to handle the same or similar situations with more confidence and skill in the future. This will allow you to gain more self-esteem through analyzing and learning from your past mistakes so that you make fewer mistakes and achieve more in the future.

Disappointment is part of life, but you do not have to let it rule your life. And we can rest in the fact that God will listen. While it does not always make sense to us, God has plans for our disappointments.