The 5 Best Ways to Deal with Negative People

No matter our profession, we all come in contact with difficult, negative people from time to time. Our primal instinct is to defend ourselves, fight back, and react to their negativity with some of our own. However, we are not animals who respond by instincts. We are human beings with the capacity to manage our reactions.

• To fight anger with anger merely exhausts our energy and brings us down to their level.

Why are people challenging?

When people act negatively, it is a reflection of what is going on inside them. It is about them; it is not about you. It may be a complex, troubled past or something as straightforward as a terrible day that gets an individual angry.

• Individuals who are unhappy and bored with their own lives will pursue conflict to enhance their egos.

Our ego then reacts by thinking, “I need to be right. If I don’t reply, I’m admitting defeat.” Then we find ourselves involved in a conflict that harms us emotionally, mentally, and possibly even physically.

Approaches to Dealing with Difficult Individuals

Let’s look at five ways of dealing with difficult folks. They may not all be easy (actually, none of them are effortless!), but they will offer a little peace of mind that you are doing the right thing.

1. Wait before responding. Our first instinct is to react and retaliate immediately. But, responding to another individual’s negativity typically only eggs them on. You might even decide that a reply is not even needed. Maybe the other individual was merely venting and needed to be ignored since the attack was not personal at all.

• When you spend some time cooling down before you respond, you can get some perspective on the situation. If necessary, remove yourself from the space when confronted with a difficult person. Go for a jog outside or walk up a couple of flights of stairs to vent your frustrations.

2. Stop rehashing the situation. This is particularly a problem in work situations where gossip spreads as wildfire does. There will constantly be someone ready to listen to bad things about a coworker. This is a waste of your energy and time. Drop the issue and move on.

• The longer you brood on the situation and talk about it with others, the more negative and annoyed you will grow to be. Take the high road. Step away from those who are gossiping. Or, speak up and tell others you do not want to listen to it.

3. Express your feelings. If you want to get your feelings off your chest, try writing a letter. Vent all your feelings, thoughts, and hurts onto the paper. Let it all out until there is not anything left to say. Then rip up the paper and throw it in the trash. While you do, imagine your negative feelings being thrown out too.

• Do not let your boyfriend or husband prevent you from speaking your mind. A true relationship is one in which the ideas and thoughts of each partner are heard.

4. Place yourself in their shoes. This can be very challenging, but study the individual who is hurting you. What is going on in their life right now? Maybe they are having a family issue or health problem.

• Try to examine the situation as an objective bystander detached from the situation. This perspective might help give you some empathy for the difficult person in your life.

• Prayer or meditation will help you stay calm and see a situation differently. Think about the difficulties this other person might be facing in life and think about how you would handle a similar situation.

5. Respond positively. This may not always be possible and certainly will not be easy. After looking over the situation and trying to understand where the other person was coming from, find something positive to say about him.

• Remember the phrase, “Kill ‘em with kindness”? Very often, responding calmly and with a friendly tone will diffuse a difficult situation.

Negative people are everywhere. Don’t let them take your happiness away or affect your mood. Teach these difficult people by leading a good example, by responding calmly, and by showing kindness. As a result, you’ll bring more happiness to others and find that you feel a greater joy yourself.