The Hidden Dangers of Being Too Nice

 A genuinely decent or ‘nice’ woman is always a blessing to those they come in contact with throughout their days. It is an admirable quality that anyone would wish to have more contact with, especially to offset the spite and hate that can sometimes seem predominant.

Terrible news happens every day. And it is also extensively broadcast. People have never been more divided by what they believe and prove themselves correct, sometimes reaching a point of violence.

The world could make use of some altruism and genuine kindness today. The glaring truth is that we would live better if more good-hearted women were around in our midst.

But when you are a good and decent woman who is nice to the point of enabling others, it can often cause more detriment than benefit.

This occurs in two ways:

• there are always people who will take advantage of a woman’s good nature, or
• if these ‘nice’ behaviors manifest for the wrong reasons, it can be an unhealthy barrier to self-growth.

Here are five hidden risks of being excessively nice:

1.  Increasing resentment that you are unable to express.

Being too open to others and overly generous of yourself and your time can impact your self-worth and confidence. While you are busy attending to everyone else’s needs, you have probably neglected yours or given them a low priority.

This might cause you to suffer feelings of bitterness towards circumstances and individuals. But as an overly nice woman, you will likely be unable to express how you feel, as you are afraid of rocking the boat. This is an unhealthy cycle that you may find challenging to get out of once you are in it. As a result, your self-esteem suffers.

2.  You might draw the wrong types of individuals.

Individuals may come to you only if they need and want something, knowing they can easily benefit from you without expecting anything in return. This is a sad situation, but it is not so uncommon for overly nice people. The result? You end up attracting people who do not carry your best interests in their hearts.

3.  Others will not trust and respect you as you expect they should.

For a variety of reasons, trust and respect are not freely given but earned by most people. Sometimes, you will lose your high value if you so generously trust others without them earning it. They can then disappoint you and disrespect you.

They know that will not be a problem because you are too nice to even get angry. In the end, they will continue to disrespect you due to your absence of boundaries. When you are a woman who trusts others easily, this can be confusing and uncomfortable.

4.  You develop unrealistic expectations of others.

Being a naturally nice woman can bring out our naivety as we may fundamentally believe that others have the same concern for our welfare as we would for theirs. The truth is, it does not work out that way.

At times, you will need to be very transparent communicating your expectations to make some relationships work. If not, you will end up resenting someone because they had no proper briefing at the start.

5.  People will take advantage of you.

People are people, and even when they may not always have bad intentions at first, many are opportunistic. They can easily take you for granted when you do not assert yourself enough. Worse, they will take advantage of you because you are too nice. They may even use it against you.

For women who lack malice and see the best in others, it can seem to be a cruel world when their ‘niceness’ is taken advantage of, disregarded, or used against them. Sadly, that is a common occurrence – and to the best of women with nice intentions.

Love Yourself, Too!

Before you openly give of yourself so generously to others, be sure you practice self-love first. Being a nice woman with a genuine concern for the welfare of others is a very worthy trait, but it also requires a degree of resilience. Be your best self to others, but do not blindly expect reciprocation.

Always remember to respect and love yourself. Have some boundaries for people to appreciate. When you do this, being a nice person will better work to your advantage and happiness.